life update

Oh my god! I haven’t blogged in so long! I’m probably going to get the award of world’s worst blogger o.O
I should be keeping the world informed on all the problems that have been rocking my life for the past month or so..



*** WARNING!! ***
A long irrelevant ramble...


I’ll start on a good note! :D
Got my best friend back. He finally started talking to me again and we had a massive chat about everything and sorted out problems out, and now we chat all the time again :) I’ve missed him so much.
looking forward to hopefully hanging out with him soon.

Now for the bad stuff :(
Boys are still being arses.
School is STILL going! D: I swear it feels like it’s never going to end. I have two more days left though and it’s been the biggest struggle to get through this week as it is. At least all my exams are done and dusted.
Year 12 sounds like it’s going to be pretty full on. Hope I keep up.
Been having the worst mood swings lately for no reason at all, I just all of a sudden want to lash out at someone, but I keep in control.
I’m hoping to start meditation and yoga next year to help cope with all the stress of year 12 and everything and teach me how to clear my mind, because sometimes my thoughts are louder than the people talking to me.

Anyway that’s my ramble for the month, i have so much more interesting stuff i could talk about but honestly i don't think anyone reads this anyway.

Peace out.

It’s the mother i have and the father i miss.




Had a dream about you last night.

Errr,

Hurting so much.






Boys have no respect for girls.
They don't think about their actions.
They get massive heads and think they can do what the fuck they want, and you'll come running back to them.
I hope all boys aren't like this. And that there is some half decent guys out there that treat girls with respect.


Girl have no respect for each other.
They are the nastiest bitches.
Most girls thrive on backstabbing each other and don't think of anyone else but themselves.
They have no respect for themselves, going out and being dirty promiscuous whores.


Society is doomed with people like this.
These two types of people belong together, and shouldn't get other people involved.

No you can't do this to me again.
I knew it was to good to be true.
You would choose her over me, cause she's everything I'm not, and she'd put out like the slut she is.
You have to earn trust in me again, and this time i won't be so lenient.




So I guess it’s fuck what they say
I’m high as a bitch up, up and away
Man, I'll come down in a couple of days.

Those jeans are so hot.
As for the shoes, ahhh amazing.

Music is the only thing that's been getting me through lately.

Lyrics can be so powerful.

And things people say can be so hurtful.

Only bitches get stitches

WOW!
These lyrics scream my life at the moment and all the bitching that's been going on at school lately.
I would like to dedicate this song to a few people...
Not mentioning names.



Backstabber (repeat 3x)

Bored, stoned, sitting in your basement
All alone, cause your little conversations
Got around, now look at what we all found out
(look at what we, look at what we all found out)

You have got a set of loose lips, twisting stories all because you're jealous
Now I know exactly what you're all about, (what you're all about)
And this is what you're all about..

Girl, your such a backstabber,
Oh girl, you're such a shit talker
And everybody knows it (everybody knows it)
Girl, your such a backstabber,(stabber)
Run your mouth more than everyone I've ever known
And everybody knows it (everybody knows it)

(Talk Talk Talk talk talk talk)(2x)

I'm sick and tired of hearing all about my life,
From other bitches with all of your lies,
Wrapped up so tight, so maybe you should shut your mouth shut your mouth shut your fucking mouth

Honestly, I think its kinda funny that you waste your breath talking about me,
Got me feeling kinda special really (so this is what your all about)

Girl, your such a backstabber,(stabber)
Oh girl, you're such a shit talker
Kesha Backstabber lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/kesha-backstabber-lyrics.html
And everybody knows it (everybody knows it)
Girl, your such a backstabber,(stabber)
Run your mouth more than everyone I've ever known
And everybody knows it (everybody knows it)

Katie's just there ripping my style,
Damn, Jeanie why you gotta tell the secrets about my sex life?
All I ever did was drive your broke ass around,
Pick you up, take you out, when your car broke down

Backstabber (3x) (stabber)

Girl, your such a backstabber,(stabber)
Oh girl, your such a shit talker,
Everybody knows it (everybody knows it)
Girl, your such a backstabber,
(taking and twisting it down your so manipulating .oh.)
Run your mouth more than everyone I've ever known
And everybody knows it (everybody knows it) talk, talk, talk,

Backstabber(3x)

(taking and twisting it down your so manipulating, oh)
Girl Talk talk
Your looking like a lunatic
Everybody knows it (everybody knows it) Everybody knows yeah
Your looking like a lunatic
And everybody knows yeah.. everybody knows

Backstabber(3x)

Please don't hurt me.

I want to waste my words on you.

Things were going down hill for so long, even the person that was making my day was hurting me.
I was having a week of bad luck, some was out to get me.
Then i realised you may just be telling the truth and you may actually care for me.
And things started looking brighter.

Now i feel like i need you.


Things still aren't perfect but they're slowly getting better.

Pedestrians is another word for speed bumps.

Never doubt me.



You don't know me at all.

The latest

Torana

I used to love Samboy's chips.

I realised when I’m in my own comfort zone I’m childish and immature, I laugh like a little child over well absolutely anything even if it's not funny.
When in the real world I seem so serious.
If I don't have my friends and family around I wouldn't be myself.

Sometimes I just dance around the house singing laughing and being really loud and obnoxious, that’s just me, it’s what I like doing, it makes me happy, helps me forget my problems and reality.

A lie?

Honestly I believe I’ve been living in a lie for the last few months.
I started reading blogs and thought ‘wow this really looks fun’ and started gathering photos I liked and that made me smile, laugh, cry and that spoke true feelings without talking, they knew what I was feeling and expressed them the way I couldn’t. I started blogging these things as I was going through a ‘rough’ time.
Lately things are starting to look up, I’ve realised a few things, made peace with a few people, and decided life is too short to be unhappy all the time. People can be taken away so easily. And through all that I noticed i slowly stopped blogging, I just wasn’t interested anymore and every time I try to bring myself to blog I think, ‘I don’t even want to’ if it was going to be that fun then I wouldn’t have to make myself do it. And I think it’s because I don’t really enjoy what I blog about. The pictures and quotes and what not all appear so depressing and miserable, and that’s not me! That’s not my passion that’s not what I base my life on, that’s not what I enjoy doing.


So it’s taken me quite a while but I think I’ve finally worked out what my passion in life is… I’m infatuated by cars. Think what you want about it. But I enjoy everything about them. I love just sitting in cars, I love the sound, I love the mini adrenaline rush, I love the thought of driving my own ‘souped up’ car. If you are unaware of my dirty slang souped up means; an enhanced or increased appeal in power, performance, or intensity. ;D
I’ve had a love for cars since I was very little. I used to do some weird things like sit in mums car for hours in the driveway just pretending to drive it. When ever we went on holidays anywhere I would take my big bag of cars and car mats with me. Mum hated it.
These days when I see a car I like, I normally say what car it is and rattle off about it, even though I know people aren’t even interested or listening to me. And I get so excited about the silliest things in/about cars, such as moving side mirrors.
I can walk down the street and say what car drives past me just by quickly glancing at it, people are amazed by this. And with some cars I’m that good at knowing what it is I can tell what car it is before I see it. Or just by seeing a headlight or indicator. It’s actually pretty crazy. But it’s what I enjoy.
And I’ve decided I’m going to start posting more about cars, as it’s what I love.
My mother wonders where I get this fascination of cars from, no one in my family has ever been like it, and no one likes cars but me.
Although I don’t so much like old cars, we are always buying new ones doing them up and selling them again.

Anyway, finished rambling for now.
I’ve still been reading every ones blogs and I’ll still blog and share all the things I’ve been gathering lately, (plus I have to remove them all from my computer somehow) but I’m going to start blogging more about my passion (:

Update

So as you are all aware i haven't blogged in ages, sorry.
Lot has been going through my head, way too much for just me to handle.
Mum comes home on Thursday :D I'm so excited, I've missed her dearly. Went and brought a banner saying 'Welcome Home' the other day, and I'm going to blow up some balloons for their arrival (:

Anyway, I'll be back to my usual posting very soon.
I've still been reading every ones blogs though.
And I have so many picture to blog it's not even funny.

She's getting niggly.
I knew this would happen.
When i think it's getting easier, it gets harder.

I need to stay strong.

Facebook ruins my life!

This also ruins my life!

Gorgeous! i want a baby hippo.
Cuuuute.

It's slowly killing me

I've always been extremely self conscious, some people don't notice it as much as others do.
I can be very comfortable around some people, and very uncomfortable around other people.
But as soon as i get home, in front of my own family, in my comfort zone, I'm almost like a whole new person.
So confident no one would ever believe i lack in it. Suffering from anxiety doesn't help with a lack of confidence.

My self consciousness is becoming more and more of a problem as life goes by.
I'm slipping away, into this hate, denial, negative mind, and i am breaking down now more then ever before.
Everything is slipping through my fingers, and i feel there isn't anything i can do about it.

This explains me so perfectly.

A lot of peoples personalities are made up from the people around them, their friends and family, their personalities that have rubbed off onto others. Everyone wishes they were different but the truth is we are all very much a like. Some people just show it more then others.

I'm tired.

Tired of every dream and expectation i had when i was a kid falling to pieces before my eyes. I wish people had been honest with me. I wish they'd tell me to prepare myself for a life time of disappointment and heartbreak.
I wish someone would have warned me about you, so i didn't get sucked in and hurt once again, i wish you would realise your not the only one hurting and that you're hurting me!

Hurting

I'm sick of hurting, and everyday you hurt me a bit more.

The breakdown

I miss you so dearly.

This is so hard to believe after everything that has happened, how close we were but this is life and i have to move on.
I'm never going to get it the way i want.
I wish things could be different, but as the quote says' "there are things that cannot be", and you and me are one of them.

Or is it weird that i care too much.

*Continued*

I love Ministry of sound ♥

I dislike the pattern on the jumper but oh well it's warm.

Productive day

So today has been quite a productive day,
considering i've had a headache all day :(
Normally when i have a headache i cannot function, i just go to bed and sleep it off, but today i had already planned to have the day off school and then woke up with a dreadful headache which i didn't want to let ruin my day.
So i managed to drag myself out of bed and freshened up.
I then waited for mother to come home. We all went to Kmart and Big W so i could buy the new Ministry Of Sound Cd's :)
I have decided that i am now going to start buying the Cd's rather then downloading the specific songs i like, which normally results in me downloading pretty much every song.
Anyway, we then went past the op-shops. I've never really liked op-shopping, i find it tacky and dirty i guess I would much rather buy my clothing brand new knowing no one else has already loved it.
But i went in and found this cute wollen jumper and it fitted great so i thought oh what the heck i'll just get it.
(I'll do a photo post on the Jumper and Cd's later)
I then got home and listened to a bit of my new Cd's and did my washing and then baked a cake (:
Oh so very productive for me..
Although I still have a headache :(

I'm trying to think and be more positive.
Especially after my break down i had from the last two very stressful weeks.


I ramble on too much!