She's getting niggly.
I knew this would happen.
When i think it's getting easier, it gets harder.

I need to stay strong.

Facebook ruins my life!

This also ruins my life!

Gorgeous! i want a baby hippo.
Cuuuute.

It's slowly killing me

I've always been extremely self conscious, some people don't notice it as much as others do.
I can be very comfortable around some people, and very uncomfortable around other people.
But as soon as i get home, in front of my own family, in my comfort zone, I'm almost like a whole new person.
So confident no one would ever believe i lack in it. Suffering from anxiety doesn't help with a lack of confidence.

My self consciousness is becoming more and more of a problem as life goes by.
I'm slipping away, into this hate, denial, negative mind, and i am breaking down now more then ever before.
Everything is slipping through my fingers, and i feel there isn't anything i can do about it.

This explains me so perfectly.

A lot of peoples personalities are made up from the people around them, their friends and family, their personalities that have rubbed off onto others. Everyone wishes they were different but the truth is we are all very much a like. Some people just show it more then others.

I'm tired.

Tired of every dream and expectation i had when i was a kid falling to pieces before my eyes. I wish people had been honest with me. I wish they'd tell me to prepare myself for a life time of disappointment and heartbreak.
I wish someone would have warned me about you, so i didn't get sucked in and hurt once again, i wish you would realise your not the only one hurting and that you're hurting me!

Hurting

I'm sick of hurting, and everyday you hurt me a bit more.

The breakdown

I miss you so dearly.

This is so hard to believe after everything that has happened, how close we were but this is life and i have to move on.
I'm never going to get it the way i want.
I wish things could be different, but as the quote says' "there are things that cannot be", and you and me are one of them.

Or is it weird that i care too much.

*Continued*

I love Ministry of sound ♥

I dislike the pattern on the jumper but oh well it's warm.

Productive day

So today has been quite a productive day,
considering i've had a headache all day :(
Normally when i have a headache i cannot function, i just go to bed and sleep it off, but today i had already planned to have the day off school and then woke up with a dreadful headache which i didn't want to let ruin my day.
So i managed to drag myself out of bed and freshened up.
I then waited for mother to come home. We all went to Kmart and Big W so i could buy the new Ministry Of Sound Cd's :)
I have decided that i am now going to start buying the Cd's rather then downloading the specific songs i like, which normally results in me downloading pretty much every song.
Anyway, we then went past the op-shops. I've never really liked op-shopping, i find it tacky and dirty i guess I would much rather buy my clothing brand new knowing no one else has already loved it.
But i went in and found this cute wollen jumper and it fitted great so i thought oh what the heck i'll just get it.
(I'll do a photo post on the Jumper and Cd's later)
I then got home and listened to a bit of my new Cd's and did my washing and then baked a cake (:
Oh so very productive for me..
Although I still have a headache :(

I'm trying to think and be more positive.
Especially after my break down i had from the last two very stressful weeks.


I ramble on too much!

I miss you

Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we care about the most leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.

I wish you had your arms around me.



I wish you still talked to me.

I swear I've drunk enough for both of us tonight

If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.

Sometimes it's easier to just let go